Notion image
20% of human communication takes place purely through words and the rest is your attitude, body language, vibe, presence and so on.
  • What it is that we are feeling when we communicate? What is our mentality? what do we transmit?
  • i think i am nervous because i think in some ways she is better than me. Because we see it as a prize
  • What to be done? See her has equal. It’s about self confidence, self esteem and emotional need that determines the difficulty more or less

    • Cultural Narratives

  • Middle Ages Europe: Sex was allowed only within marriage and was exclusive for reproduction. 1984 novel type. What happened there? extreme poverty and barely something to eat. Having children meant serious consequences and feeding child was hard.
  • South Asia: we have temples whose outer wood carvings are full of sexual figures and positions. The question is : Are they rejoicing it or was it a defense mechanism against possible annexation threats. But whatever it is: We also see sex as something to be done after marriage. And Taking a look at our grandfathers who have had up to 9 children, It was a necessity because children act as a helping hand in a farm land and also a way of creating a clan among a village. And currently it is seen as something taboo. Everybody conceals.

    • Conclusion : Whatever culture it is, The message is same. These cultures say You only get to have one “jiwan satthi”, “love can do everything and solve everything” which makes us idealize love, we overestimate love. But that mustn’t be the case. When love is considered paramount, things like honesty , respect and commitment is secondary.

    Other Narratives

  • talks about women as manipulative, vicious , malicious and cold based on past experience
  • As children if we were mocked for our appearance, as adults we combine that trauma with standard of society and beauty.
  • Having authoritative or neglectful mother or father that affects the way of seeing the opposite gender

    • Inferiority Gap and performance behavior

    From these narratives above, something called inferiority gap arises then in order to compensate for such gap people take some action which is performance behavior. We do such things because of fear of disapproval or rejection from someone else. These behaviors are unattractive and shows desperation eventually a repulsion.

  • shows low self esteem: if we need action to please others it means we are insufficient
  • exhausting: takes a lot of effort but we don’t know if it is correct

    • Mechanism for attraction

    OUR STATUS not material goods, not the pretty face, not our societal status (these things help) But main thing is our behavior and how needy we act in front of them.

  • unconscious selection : Women unconsciously try to find partners that ensures their protection and their chances of survival. This depends on how we allow others to look at and how we allow others to behave. A person personality is inversely proportional to emotional need.
  • Giving away power: Attention is great deal and more attention you give, more power is being taken away from you. Not the center of universe, bear that in mind. Overreaction is harmful.

    • Slow down the movements

    Breathe deeply

    Keep calm and be relaxed

    No overreaction

    Don’t change your behavior for attention.

    Look in the eye before speaking

    When you are in front of girl , don’t think about impressing her, making her like you. What you want is to see her as a friend. Every interaction is to improve our skills and ourselves. Aim is not to sleep with her but to develop our skills on personal level.

    Don’t fear rejection

    Difference between losers and winners is that losers don’t fail enough

    just approach and talk. No need for random reasons not to do so. No need to think about your fatness , or your level, or even if you are a loser. You are ready at any moment and at any time.

    We judge anything through our own metrics and insecurities . Which means we also look at rejection the same way.

    Three second Rule

    Going to talk to girl with a period of 3 seconds counting from the moment when we first see her. Talk to women like a ordinary person . Just say “Hi”. What’s the worst that might happen? Because your brain doesn’t have any time to process anything in that time moment.

    What is needed in order to move forward?

  • Having purpose in life : Have a purpose in life, even if you face rejection , make your life interesting and exciting.

    • Starting a conversation

    It’s the confidence that matters. Phrase doesn’t matter. Show yourself as authentic and vulnerable, will help later. If i can’t start a conversation with “hello”, i can’t start with anything.

    First Impression

    You never get a second chance for your first impression.

    Presentation

  • poorly dressed
  • Body language
  • Acting needy
  • Little eye contact

    • Demonstrate Sexual interest

  • don’t get friend zoned. (Avaya part 2)